Four Days

As I’ve said many times, there are things that happen in this city that don’t happen anywhere else. Sometimes on one day right after the other.

Wednesday, April 11

Gallery opening of photographer Jonathan Alpeyrie at the Anastasia Photo gallery on the Lower East Side. CN and I drink wine and look at photographs of WWII veterans. They’re diptychs, with veterans on either side of the war juxtaposed against each other. One photograph stands alone, of a singular veteran and in its power—an aged Scottish man sits, frowning and jowly, in a graveyard. He wears a bright red kilt and he’s surrounded by bright red flowers. I like him.

Artsy types fill the space—older guys with sprays of gray in their hair, elbow patches on their tweed jackets, younger guys in skinny jeans and oxford shoes. A girl compliments me on my shoes and I smile. We’re invited to an afterparty at the Gramercy Park Hotel.

A bouncer stands inside the hotel bar, in front of two glass doors and red velvet curtains. We give the right name and in we go. Young people sip cocktails. The velvet couch is prickly under my fingertips.

Thursday, April 12

A client’s assistants are out for the day. I sit in his car while he gets takeout dim sum for a friend recovering in the hospital. He also gets me a ball of fresh mozzarella cheese. It’s creamy and sweet and salty and cold and warm all at once. I probably should have eaten less of it in one sitting. What I haven’t picked apart from it sits in the fridge in a bowl of water, waiting for my eager fingers. It tastes just as creamy and sweet and salty as the first day.

Friday, April 13

On Thursday I realized I had no plans for the weekend. Not feeling especially excited about a Netflix evening, I called SD. A dramaturg for a new play written by a friend (Ramona Clay by Stan Richardson), I was invited. Another thing on the list of things I love about New York is the opportunity people have to develop their creativity. It was great to see a new play written by someone I knew watched in its beginning stages in front of an excited audience. I also realized I had forgotten how much I liked meeting new people.

Saturday, April 14

Japanese food and drinks with GD and her sister. Thick, slippery udon noodles and lightly crispy tempura. Cupcake wine. Afterward I walk to Emack and Bolio’s and get Cookie Monster—oreos and cookie dough—ice cream because I felt like it. In honor of the passing of a great man, I walk to the Met. Gold light pours over the steps and a security guard paces back and forth in front of the big, glass doors. It lightly starts to rain and I walk home. I fold the sleeves of my cardigan over my hands and clasp them tight. I walk home.

Big Wong King and the Chinatown Ice Cream Factory

I am perpetually on the search for good Chinese food. Because in my house, like any secular Jewish household, Chinese is a food group on its own. Good Chinese food makes me feel at home, and while I’ve had some great meals in the city, I’ve still been on the lookout for that one place. You know, the one place you always order from, that always has a good menu, that always has consistently delicious food. No frills, just good eatin’.

It is perhaps fitting, then, that after almost two years in New York such a place should be showed to me by none other than TBW. TBW has consistently found and/or shown me some excellent eats, and we have embarked upon several culinary adventures in the past (which reminds me, please try the white Bolognese at Sauced on the Lower East Side if you haven’t, as well as the tequila ices at Cascabel on the Upper East Side—though the latter is best for full-fledged summer).

One evening in particular, though, we were in search of sticky rice in Chinatown, having just come from a meeting in SoHo. But sticky rice was not to be found. TBW didn’t miss a beat, though, and he knew exactly where we were heading next.

On 67 Mott Street near Bayard Street, there is a gleaming yellow sign that says Big Wong King. It’s one of those places you might not know to go to unless someone else has taken you there, or you have really good luck with just falling into awesome restaurants by accident. Luckily, TBW was my guide. He has been going to Big Wong King since he was just a small TBW. Right after his mom would take him to the doctor they’d go for lunch there, he told me. It felt cool to be in his place.

We were quickly ushered in and seated next to some people we didn’t know, as I’ve learned is typical in Chinatown. I realized I had only $6.50 in my wallet. No problem, TBW said. That’ll probably be more than enough. I raised my eyebrows. Child, what now? We are not at Gray’s Papaya. How could we possibly have a full dinner on less than $7 each?

TBW ordered us some congee, which I had never tried before, as well as a spinach-like construction and wontons. The congee, a porridge-like substance, was spotted with some kind of orb. I asked TBW what it was. Duck eggs, he said. I raised my eyebrows again. Is that okay? he said, offering me a challenge. I accepted said challenge with an affirmative response and tried the duck eggs which were actually better than regular eggs, as TBW said they would be. The spinach-like object was drizzled with yummy, brown, tangy oyster sauce, and then there were the wontons. Never have I had such a perfect wonton. Sweet, not too much wrapping, a nice amount of filling, in a sweet and salty broth. I was happy. I had found my Chinese restaurant. Or, rather, TBW gave it to me as a gift.

And then the bill came. Fourteen dollars total, for two people. TBW did have to spot me some cash, but still—less than $10 per person, for a truly scrumptious and simple meal. I would be back, maybe even by myself!

--

Our next stop was The Original Chinatown Ice Cream Factory because the following exchange happened:

TBW: Have you ever been to Chinatown Ice Cream?

MM: No.

TBW: YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO CHINATOWN ICE CREAM?

MM: No... 

TBW: We're going to Chinatown Ice Cream.

Opened in 1978, the place actually has a cult following--with over 3,000 fans on Facebook, it’s consistently written up for being awesome. All of the ice cream is homemade (and all of the signs are delightfully hand drawn), and comes in tame flavors like vanilla or wild ones like wasabi! TBW and I split a black sesame ice cream, which tasted kind of like a nuttier Oreo. Like the love child of almonds and Oreos, actually. It was le yum. We walked through Chinatown to our trains eating the deliciousness, happy the night was not too cold for ice cream.

The Great Journey Across the Brooklyn Bridge

There comes a time in every New Yorker’s life when they must embark upon a journey that will take them across not just streets but rivers and boroughs. I am speaking, of course, of the Great Journey Across the Brooklyn Bridge.

It will begin in downtown Manhattan’s financial district, across the East River and finish, perhaps not surprisingly, in Brooklyn.

Yes, your mother may call you while you are crossing the bridge and ask you a barrage of questions about your intentions of making said journey:

“Why are you crossing the Brooklyn Bridge? Is it safe? Are you coming from or going to Brooklyn? Why are you going to Brooklyn? How are you getting there? What’s to see in Brooklyn? Are you by yourself? Why are you by yourself? You couldn’t find anyone to go with you? How many people are there? Are there a lot? Are you taking pictures?”

But you will simply inhale for a count of three, exhale, and say, “It’s a thing people do. I am with hundreds of other people. This is not strange. I’ll talk to you later.” Because some journeys your meshuggennah mother just will not understand.

Designed by John Augustus Roebling and finished in 1883, the Brooklyn Bridge was at one time the largest suspension bridge in the world. It is primarily known for its two towers, which punctuate the center of the structure. The bridge has six lanes for vehicular traffic on its lower level and on its upper level a pedestrian walkway. Though it certainly does behoove the visitor to stay in the right lane of the pedestrian walkway for fear of being bumped in the behind by bicyclists who will then raise their heads in frustration toward the sky, miffed, and say to you in clipped tones, “Just be careful, this is the bike lane, okay?” And you will think to yourself, lighten the hell up, dude, it’s a gorgeous, crisp blue-sky day and the wind is in my hair and I’m just trying to take some pictures, but you will just shut your mouth and walk away because a gorgeous day is no time to start trouble with miffed bicyclists.

Moving on.

The wooden pedestrian walkway may be crowded by tourists on the weekend who, upon seeing you taking pictures with your non-point-and-shoot camera, will ask you to photograph them in front of the bridge. You will oblige, because you are a relatively nice person who is short on patience for tourists but long on appreciation for gorgeous days, the keeping of nice memories, and National Historic Landmarks.

One of the finer points of the bridge, you may notice, are the ways the suspension cables form a sort of web on the bridge, making everything inside or outside of the bridge, depending on how you look at it, appear caged. It’s not a frightening feeling, though. Just one of awe. You may get all existential on yourself and think something along the lines of ‘Oh dear, we are all just so small in this universe,’ or you may decide that all structures should have such a gorgeous arrangement of cables and quietly plan how to integrate them into your apartment décor.

No matter—rest assured, you are, in fact, appreciating the structure as you contemplate either of these suggestions and Roebling would be flattered. The structure was, after all, responsible for the death of its aforementioned creator—Joseph A. Roebling died after his toes were crushed during a bridge location survey. The toes necessitated amputation, which resulted in tetanus, which resulted in death. His son and daughter-in-law took over and finished the project after his passing. So appreciate away, and watch your toes.

Don’t forget the little details, though. Locks upon which visitors have scrawled their names will appear snapped onto the bridge’s cables, as will stickers, graffiti by rather enthusiastic Hungarian visitors who love New York, and small bits of fabric and ribbon tied around certain cable cruxes at the center of the bridge.

 

Take lots of pictures. Of the structure, of Joanna’s message that, yes, she was in fact here. Of families visiting loved ones. Of the sun casting a spray of light onto the East River. Of old, industrial signage that may have been left up for posterity or laziness. Of the Manhattan skyline becoming smaller and smaller in the distance.

At one point you will wonder where exactly in Brooklyn you will end up and you will want to text your Brooklyn friends because they could instantly tell you, but you should eschew this notion with a firm hand. This author firmly believes that part of the Great Journey Across the Brooklyn Bridge is discovering it on your own. Patience is key for this rather long stretch of wooden planks known as the Brooklyn Bridge pedestrian walkway, but if you abide by its rules you will learn in short time your destination.

Even as you near the end of the bridge and come across upon a rather intricate highway system in front of you and think to yourself oh dear god what do I do now and/or what the hell have I gotten myself into, fear not, for the Bridge will protect you. Or there will just be a sign telling pedestrians where to go next. You should probably follow that and not run into traffic.

Photograph your arrival into Brooklyn. Depending on the route you take, you may either end up in DUMBO, Brooklyn Heights or, well, wherever in Brooklyn you choose to go, really.

Congratulations! You have completed your journey. Upon doing so, this author recommends a visit to DUMBO’s Brooklyn Bridge Park to sit on the steps overlooking the river between the Brooklyn Bridge and the Manhattan Bridge and watch people throw pebbles into the water. Sit, rest, contemplate life, maybe even eat a pink lady apple and continue on your way. Perhaps you choose to peek around in DUMBO for a while, perhaps you choose to get a café au lait in an empty café near the F train, perhaps you peruse the tiny independent shops as you head back to Manhattan. Know, though, that you have accomplished a great feat and, if your experience is a positive one, it may be one you’ll complete again and again.

Everyday I'm CHERYLIN'

I had heard of CHERYL before, while reading a New York Times article called "Going Gaga" in 2010, about the increase in highly costumed but punky downtown events happening in New York, but hadn’t been able to do anything about until last weekend. CHERYL, a performance art troupe based in Brooklyn, was written up on Time Out New York for hosting epic dance parties all over the world, featuring items like cat masks, fake blood, unitards, and glitter. I wanted to go almost instantly.

And then, while perusing information about the opening of the Cindy Sherman exhibition at the Museum of Modern Art, I found a link: MoMA PopRally presents CHERYL, in celebration of the Sherman exhibition. So, not just CHERYL, but MoMA and access to the exhibit there. My brain began working. It would be the weekend while TDS was visiting. Did she want to go with me? The answer, to my delight, was yes. Happily, ALiCo, SC, JB and JT were able to join us as well. We bought our tickets online beforehand and it’s lucky we did—the day before the event, all the tickets were sold out.

TDS and I were too excited. Over dinner we watched CHERYL’s video on how to CHERYL—yes, there is a dance, and no, I won’t teach it to you, but you can watch it here and do it at the next CHERYL party you go to. It’ll be done at least once, I’ll promise you that.

We arrived early because we didn’t know what the line would be like to get in. Turns out a bunch of people had the same idea, but it wasn’t crowded at all yet. We sipped some wine and walked around the space, which had been filled with mannequins airbrushed with different shades of foundation makeup. I found out it was foundation when I touched it, thinking it was dry paint, and it got all over my fingers. Plus it smelled like flowers. We were able to write on the mannequins and take pictures with the disposable cameras tied to their wrists and necks.

Photo courtesy Sara Mingle via iPhone

A group of dancers wrapped in various forms of nude and/or white underwear, stockings, corsets, bald caps—which I would later find out were a ‘naked costume’—made their way to the dance floor, set up in the MoMA lobby in front of a DJ booth holding up a red and white CHERYL sign. They weren’t just ‘whatever’ dancers, either. Their movements were tight and sophisticated, like modern dancers let loose for the evening. They painted their faces with dark eyes, too-dark foundation, strange cheeks, and odd lips. They were fantastic.

Other CHERYL-ers were men and women decked in black with painted-on mustaches holding cameras or just flashbulbs they’d press every so often. Buttons pinned to their blouses read ‘DANCE’ and ‘CHERYL.’

TDS in cat mask
Photo courtesy Sara Mingle via iPhone

We made our way down a red carpet where we were able to get either face paint or cat masks from men and women wearing Crayon-red bobbed wigs, turtlenecks, and jeans. We opted for the masks, resting them atop our heads and walking around some more looking at the space. Not a lot of people had arrived yet, so we went upstairs to check out the exhibition. I think Cindy Sherman’s an evil genius, forming and photographing herself into different female tropes and bringing out the grotesque in all of us, but this blog post isn’t about that so it’ll have to wait for another time. It was interesting, though, to see how CHERYL had taken that grotesqueness and transformed it into something livable—foundation on the mannequins and strange makeup/gender-bending its staff.

Not too long after, though, we moved onto the dance floor and so did more people. And more people. And more and more and more until the entire lobby of MoMA was pumping with body heat, balloons, masking tape, tin foil and green fabric. One woman was topless. People were breakdancing. There was a girl wearing shiny green leggings with black leotards, some other people wearing hipster glasses they didn’t need, boys in skinny jeans, older men in button-down black shirts and greased-back hair, chicks in long black skirts and oxford shoes, cross-body bags slung across their bodies, a dude wearing a 1970s mesh jersey tank top with vintage brick red pants. Most of all, though, they were just people who liked to boogie.

Photo courtesy Sara Mingle via iPhone

The DJ played music I didn’t know for the most part and I didn’t care. There were sick beats we could all shake and stomp to, waving our hands in the air wildly as confetti fell from the sky and the room spun in a kaleidoscope of colored lights while CHERYL videos, with performers in the signature cat masks, played in the background. There was sweat and dance and boys kissing boys and girls kissing girls and boys kissing girls. There was a conga line. There was vogueing. There was even a kick line performed by my friends and I. And of course, there was CHERYL. At one point, all of the CHERYL staff moved to the lobby’s raised platform and began the dance. TDS and I did it along with them. “WE CHERYLED! WE CHERYLED!” we squealed afterward. I watched TDS’s eyes light up. “This is just...I can’t even…It’s so perfect.” It was.

The website for CHERYL is cherylwillruinyourlife.info, but I think they say that because every day that you don’t CHERYL will never be the same. CHERYL will make you wish every day was a wild, crazy, weird, artsy, naked, loud, sweaty dance party with a trembling, writhing mass of bodies. So maybe you won’t CHERYL all the time, but you can rest assured that whenever you do CHERYL, it will be perfect.

Moon Over New Jersey

Sure, I’m no Betty Grable (well, okay, maybe I am…), and this certainly isn’t Moon over Miami, but as Spring Breakers embark on their  academic-less trips southward like tanning oil-covered moths to a flame, it was nice, even as a “real” person to get away for a while and see someplace different. And maybe ‘awhile’ was only six hours or so one evening this week, but even in that short period of time it felt like a different planet.

CH, Lady B, BR and I headed out to the house of divine hostess N in a far off land called Metuchen, New Jersey, for dinner and discussion of very exciting events to come (my lips are sealed! But trust me, it’ll be awesome). Leaving CH’s home in Brooklyn, our Zipcar inched through the borough, providing a stop-and-go scenic (is there such a thing?) route westward. We wound our way around the base of Manhattan, which is in and of itself a constellation of lights, the windows of massive buildings turning on and off as employees leave for the day. Curling our way through Staten Island, Lady Libs says hey and bids adieu for the evening.

Then, over the Verrazano Bridge. Driving across it is like driving through a black and white photograph and, even though there was tremendous traffic up to that point, I wondered what it must look like during the daytime. After that, it’s smooth sailing and we enter New Jersey. First, Secaucus, a maze of factory/plant-looking constructions spewing smoke into the air, thick and orange in the blackness. Then, uh, the rest of New Jersey.

Strip malls. A giant Kmart. Dunkin’ Donuts, Target, Sonic, Uno, Houlihans, and the list goes on. Every franchise possible stuffed into a long stretch of drive that reminds me of long road trips from South Florida to Pennsylvania. The sky is black in front of us and the franchises reach out for miles. Eventually, there is darkness and paneled houses and bushes and we make a right and there is N’s house. It has a lawn. I step onto it and laugh, “What is this strange substance? We don’t have this in New York!” All kidding aside, it feels strange under my feet, in a good way. It’s cushy, like walking on a comforter. It occurs to me the last time I walked on grass was months ago, when I was home in Florida. Even when I’m in Central Park I walk on the paved sidewalks.  

And despite my not-so-secret distaste for suburbia, I am delighted to be here, invited into N’s home with the rest of the crew for a real home-cooked meal. Something else I have not had in months. We sit down to dinner and I almost cry—I warmed up some frozen broccoli for dinner the night before—at the sheer spread. Curry chicken, daal, raita, chutneys, rice, potatoes. “I am so happy!” I say, covering my eyes in delight. I cannot ease my cheeks into a neutral facial formation because they are stuck in smile mode. I missed being part of a family, I missed Florida, and I missed driving up A1A with the windows down, letting the salty, warm March air kiss my face and hands. It was, I think, only the third time I’ve been homesick while I’ve lived in New York, but it was a powerful feeling nonetheless.

We all had a lovely evening, planning, laughing, chatting and, of course, eating. (OH AND THE PIE. There was pie. Banoffee pie, made of toffee and bananas and fluffy goodness and chocolate, I think? I believe my exact words were, “It’s like a carnival in my mouth.”) We left and gave kisses and hugs, and went back out to the car.

High overhead was a full moon, a bright silver polka dot in the navy sky. Standing underneath it felt like standing in a spotlight. I stared up at it and wondered when the last time was that I saw the moon; rather, not only saw it, but felt as though I may get a moon burn from standing beneath it. The moon peeked over N’s house from the back, shining light onto the car, onto all of us. I remembered what it felt like to be home. Because, yes, New York is where I live, and I love it here terribly, but home will always be South Florida.

I Died and Went to Rock 'n' Roll Heaven

Let me be clear about one thing: I hate jam bands.  

Well, at least I thought I did.

I thought jam bands played pseudo-Grateful Dead covers and plucked a lot of bass while audience members with varying degrees of dreadlocks spun in circles and stared toward the sky (sorry JAL, I still love you). It’s not so much a roller coaster as, unsurprisingly, an acid trip. One drop and you’re off on the music’s whim. Not to get dark, but it makes me feel trapped: WHEN WILL THIS SONG END ALREADY?!?

My best friend, JAL, mentioned above, has taken me to a few of these kinds of shows before. (Though, to be fair, she is not so much a dirty hippie as a clean one. That is, she is happiest barefoot but still shaves her armpits.) But my tuneage is more than a little different.

Like many angst-ridden youths, I began raising myself on punk in middle school. Not thrashy, yell-y kinds of things, but loud, fast guitars purred over by deep-voiced men. Old school goodness like The New York Dolls, the Ramones, and The Velvet Underground; new school stuff like The Pink Spiders. Then there was also my never-ending love for The Rolling Stones, instilled in me by my father. To this music, there was a reckless abandon that I so desperately wanted to duplicate in myself. It was the sound of streaking, of making out in the backseat of cars, driving really fast, and smoking cigarettes, all of which were deliciously taboo to me as an adolescent. In punk and in good old blues-infused rock and roll, I was able to liberate myself from myself and pretend that I was just a little bit dangerous. You know, like Sandy at the end of Grease.

I went out of my way to learn a lot about my music, but JAL’s I have not really touched too much—it was too soft, too smooth. It was not until two weekends ago, actually, that I realized all jam bands do not fit the aforementioned description and perhaps I just dislike endless funk. I learned that it is, in fact, possible to jam and simultaneously rock your face off.

Photo by Carlos Henriquez, www.chenriphoto.com

Enter Iced Ink, the brainchild of St. Paul, MN native Mike Krenner. Krenner has spiky dark hair with matching beardy business and thick, goggle-like (but in a cool way) black-framed glasses. Krenner writes in the band’s biography that the idea for Iced Ink arose when:

“Suffering from severe M.A.D.D. (not the moms/drunk driving one but the Musical Attention Defecit Disorder one), he wanted to be in too many different styles of bands at once – metal, funk, surf, pop, rock, jazz, rockabilly…. It was decided that in the interest of time and not lugging guitars and amps all over the Twin Cities that it would be most efficient to just cram all of his desired genres into one sole cohesive glob of sound.”

Iced Ink has gone through a few lineups since it began in 1998, along with a move from the chilly depths of Minnesota to the mostly less chilly Brooklyn in 2009. Krenner (guitar) found his two current bandmates, Gregg Mitchell (bass guitar) and Ethan Meyer (drums), in Spring 2011. Fast forward to February 2012, when CH invited me to see them them play in a small, two-room bar on the Lower East Side.

The fellas picked up their instruments and I realized there would be no singing. Oh no, I thought. Is this really going to be another of JAL’s bands? But then…the thrilling squeal of electric guitar, the thumping crash of drums, the heat of a perfectly necessary bass. My feet started moving independently of themselves, followed by my hips, my arms, and my neck. B, Mike’s delightful pixie wife (who also makes the band’s gig buttons…I now have a full set proudly tacked onto my bulletin boards) grabbed my hand. “Come on!” she said. “Let’s go dance!” To the front of the room we went, and everything but sound fell away.

My body followed the band’s fantastic lack of pattern, a surprise in every new and different chord.  I didn’t know when it would end, but I didn’t care; I didn’t want it to. My feet stomped, my hair flicked back and forth; it was like I had been possessed and dear god if this is what the devil felt like then please let me go to hell.

Iced Ink was all of the things Mike had wanted it to be. It was rockabilly, it was surf, it was punk, it was rock and roll. I heard all of these familiar twangs and beats from my adolescence—Brian Setzer Orchestra, Dick Dale, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC—but all smushed together in an incredible music sandwich—it was like when you don’t think a Fluffernutter will be the most amazing thing ever but then you eat it and you can’t imagine your life without it.

“Yes, I’m alive!” I heard my brain say. “Please never stop lusting for life!” All of the recklessness I wanted as a teenager I heard in this music and for once I was able to cut myself loose. In Iced Ink, there was electricity and life and energy and bright red blood bleeding from rock and roll hearts onto dirty punk shoes and it was one of the most beautiful things I had heard in a long time.

I left, converted. 

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Beauty Behind the Scenes

Hands-down, my favorite thing about Fashion Week is going behind the scenes at the shows and seeing them all get put together. One dresser lacing up a model's Doc Martens for the runway while the model reads War and Peace, another dresser lint-rolling a model while she stands texting backstage. A designer adjusting a model's belt so it hits just the right spot, a hairdresser making a hairstyle just messy enough. Then, the show goes on and the models strut their stuff, their hair falling perfectly (or purposely imperfectly) on their shoulders for a mere 15-30 minutes for a runway, much longer if it's a presentation.

Incidentally, while models are standing for presentations they, understandably, do some of the most mundane things, like scratch their hair or their noses that are just so much funnier because they're giant Barbie dolls doing it.

I have been fortunate enough to be able to capture these little moments, and wanted to share some of my favorites from the week.