Not-So-Merry Weather

New York, I love you, but your weather is bringing me down.

What is the meaning of this weather? I simply cannot understand where or why it’s coming from, and why now, of all times. It is early May. I should already be wearing the delightful spring dresses I bought in that heat wave we had back in March. I should be spending evenings up on my rooftop with a glass of wine. I should be able lay in the sun in Central Park.

But no. I have been relegated to my layers for yet another week. I leave my house wearing jacket layered upon cardigan layered upon t-shirt. I am still wearing boots and SOCKS of all things. I hate socks, and always have, yet my wardrobe has, annoyingly, been incomplete without them these past few months. At the beginning of March, I got antsy, but I understood. Then the beginning of April rolled around and I chalked it up to Mother Nature taking her revenge for a rather warm winter. But now it’s May and to say I am peeved is beyond an understatement.

And for the past few days, it’s not just been cold, it’s been rainy and, weirdly, warm. So when I leave the house, it’s a gust of chill, followed by an awkward slap of moisture, followed by warmth gathering in my sleeves as I walk anywhere, be it around the corner or to the train station. It’s like as if good ol’ Mother N doesn’t want to get rid of the cold just yet, but can’t fight the inevitable change. I don’t like being forced to deal with her menopause.

The warm-moist hybrid (what normal folks call ‘humidity’) is on a scale now where it reminds me of post-hurricane weather in South Florida, when the air conditioning is off because there’s no electricity and all you want to do is lie on the Mexican tile in the house until sanity is restored. Water pools in the air but doesn’t fall and sticks to your face if you try to walk around. Except in New York, on top of all of that, there’s that chill again. WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON.

I’m trying to choose my outfits sensibly, checking the weather every day, which is something I don’t normally do (chide away, CH). I usually look outside and wing it which, granted, is not the best way to conduct oneself as a New Yorker, but those are some old South Florida habits I can’t often be bothered to fix. But choosing an outfit for this weather is impossible. For once, everyone I see on the street is just as awkwardly, improperly dressed as I am—it runs the gamut from solo cardigans to winter coats to trench coats. Nobody understands what’s happening and I’m glad to feel like less of an idiot.

It’s gotten to the point where I’m annoyed when I wake up in the morning. UGH, ANOTHER DAY OF THIS? The weather affects people’s moods significantly, so it’s not really a surprise, but I feel like I’ve been in a mediocre mood for a little bit each day just because of the stuff.

All I want is sunshine and weather warm enough so I don’t have to wear sleeves. Seventydegree-ish, if I had my choice . I don’t think this is so much to ask. It’s certainly happened before. Oh, Elyssa, you might say! You poor, naïve little thing. We will never have such weather. But I disagree. Every day until it happens, I will wake up hoping for the best, whether or not weatherchannel.com seems to say otherwise. It’s time to get your act together, New York. But I believe you can do it! Here’s to bootless, jacketless, rainless weather. It’s May, and it’s about time.

P.S.-- It's 80s and sunny as I sit and write this from my weekend jaunt in Pittsburgh (more about that later). Get your act together, NYC!